![]() ![]() So don’t beat yourself up if you slip up. Would you expect yourself to be fluent in a language after just a few lessons? No. Some of these have been strengthened over years and years. Remember when you are making a change and breaking out of an old habit, you are essentially rewiring pathways in your brains. We slip up, we make mistakes, we say we are going to do something and then we don’t, hey we are all human. Slip ups happen because no one is perfect However, you can take what you’ve learnt from the past (by reflecting and journaling) and start to carve out what you’ll do differently in the future. Good or bad our habits make up our past and it’s impossible to re write that. Also, remember no one is perfect and slip ups do happen, and it’s important to forgive ourselves when we do. Because when we truly know why we do something or why we no longer want to, it gives us the motivation to keep going. This is why deconstructing an old habit is important, so you can work through why you want to change it. Some people can go cold turkey, and I admire those who can but the majority of us know what it’s like to try the all or nothing approach. When it comes to changing our habits, it’s difficult to wake up one day and decide we will never do it again and follow through with this. The reason I believe this to be true is because it’s easier to live in a polarised world (i.e we do or we don’t do something), rather than accepting that sometimes we live in the middle, the gray area’ is what I like to refer to it as. Once you start to answer some of these you’ll start to pick apart (deconstruct) your habit(s), and help break the cycle and identify triggers that are keeping you swept up in it.Įarlier I referred to the saying ‘old habits die hard’. ![]() Think about the ways your life will be better when these thoughts, feelings and emotions are not there anymore. Think about the times where it’s not served you, and the emotions that have come up. ![]() Think about the way you feel when doing said habit. Sometimes ‘why’ can be quite a big overwhelming question, so let’s break it down… Why do you want to change this habit? This is where you can start to unravel the elastic bands that I referred to earlier. But it is when we start to understand our habits, we can begin to uncover why we no longer want to engage in them. ![]() In summary, habits are complex and usually hard to break. All of which are associated with your habit. At the centre you’ll have the actual habit i.e negative self-talk and wrapped around this might be years of emotions, memories experiences and maybe even traumas. They will be wrapped up in a lot of other things like a ball of elastic bands. It’s also important to understand that habits are not usually just one action or thought. That is not to say it won’t be possible but you need to be realistic from the offset. When we are trying to change a behaviour or thought pattern that we’ve held onto for a long time, it’s not going to be easy. So, how do we deconstruct a habit that we have held onto for years? Here are a few things I’ve found useful.Īcknowledge that breaking bad habits won’t be easy ‘Old habits die hard’ is a saying for a reason. And while plasters help wounds heal, if we seek to understand the source of what hurt us in the first place, we are less likely to do it again. Because just like putting a plaster on a wound, the wound is still there underneath no matter how many layers you put on top of it. But I don’t think you should just sweep the old one under the carpet. When you want to form a new habit typically it will be because you are looking to break or replace another. People tend to talk about how to build new habits but I want to talk about the importance of deconstructing an old (usually bad) one. So, when we try to change and our brains have got to do a little more thinking (even if it is for the good), we can find it hard. Why? Because it takes the guess work out of what we are doing. We are creatures of habit, and our brains love it. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |